OFFSTAGE -- The Actors of Pokémon, Parts 8-11
by Quill Xarxes
Summary: The Actors go to Vegas (following James because they have no lives) What could possibly happen?


Part 8  
HEY BABY LETS GO TO VEGAS  
Gary and Brock: (singing) Someday, I'll learn to DRINK ALL MY TROUBLES AWAY!  
  
James: Are you mocking me?  
  
Ash: Just don't say anything.  
  
Jessie: (Pulls out a mallet)  
  
Gary and Brock: (Scream and stop singing)  
  
Misty: Hi folks!  
  
James: Hi... Misty!  
  
Jessie: I made him join an alchoholics support group.  
  
James: ANONYMOUS! THEY SAID ANONYMUS!  
  
Jessie: Like anyone here doesn't know.  
  
Growly: (To Ash) Grow, Growlithe!  
  
Ash: What's that girl? LITTLE TIMMY FELL IN THE WELL? I MUST go SAVE HIM!  
  
Jessie: So James, where are you going this Halloween?  
  
James: Las Vegas.  
  
Gary: You're a GAMBLER TOO???  
  
James: I'm leaving my money at home dork. Well, I'll bring some money, but I'm not stupid.  
  
Jessie: You going with anyone?  
  
James: (sigh) Jessie, do you want to come?  
  
Jessie: REALLY? Thanks a mil!  
  
James: Hurry and get packed, we're leaving tonight.  
  
Jessie: OK!  
  
James: C'mon Pikachu.  
  
Pikachu: (is meditating with incense burning) Pika!  
  
Brock: Hey, Misty, you wanna  
  
Misty: NO.  
  
Brock: Well I was going to ask you to go to VEGAS, but  
  
Misty: THANX SO MUCH BROCK!!!  
  
Brock: Why doesn't anyone ever let me finish my   
  
Gary: And I'll bring Ash! He wouldn't want to miss this!  
  
Butch: (whispers) Don't ask, Don't ask, Don't   
  
Cassidy: Oh, BUTCH???  
  
Butch: What.  
  
Cassidy: (Pulls Butch's ear.)  
  
Butch: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.  
  
Misty: ALRIGHT THEN! We're all going to VEGAS!  
  
All: YEAH!  
  
James: (Moan) This was supposed to be my vacation!!!  
  
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Part 9  
VIVA LAS VEGAS 2  
Quill Xarxes  
  
Misty: (Turning Green) I hate planes, Brock, I can't stand them.  
  
James: Oh Hush. This is perfectly safe.  
  
Jessie: Yeah! (Hears a bump as the wheels are locked into the   
plane) AHHHH! (Grabs James' hand)  
  
James: (smiles) You're both wusses!  
  
Ash: How come only the girls are scared? Is Quill sexist or something?  
  
Narrator Quill: Nah, it just turned out like that.  
  
Cassidy: Wha… I'm not scared!  
  
Butch: (From under his seat) I am.  
  
James: Relax. It's a long way to Nevada!  
  
Brock: Just wondering here, where did we start in the first place?  
  
James: I, I don't know! Let's think of somewhere really famous that we can say we're from!  
  
All: (Deep in thought)  
  
Ash: I'VE GOT IT!  
  
Misty: So where are we from?  
  
Ash: New Holstein, WI!  
  
All: (Blink)  
  
James: Uh, OK. From now on we're from New Holstein, Wisconsin!  
  
Pikachu and Meowth: (Start moving around in their Poke'balls)  
  
Jessie: Uh, James, what are those moving around in your pants?  
  
James: Their my Poke'balls. Uh, I think their getting restless.  
  
Ash: HEY, EVERYONE! JAMES SAYS HIS BALLS ARE GETTING RESTLESS!  
  
Everyone: (Bursts out laughing)  
  
James: Why you little bastard! (Pulls out a rose and chucks it at Ash)  
  
Ash: Not again! (The rose punches through Ash's chest)  
  
Butch: Oh my God! You killed Ash!  
  
Brock: YOU BASTARD!  
  
Jessie: Where do you get them roses, anyway?  
  
Meowth: (From his Poke'ball) Do you stash 'em in your pockets or somehing?  
  
James: I, I don't know!  
  
Jessie: Now we gotta make something up to explain that too!  
  
James: Nah. I don't want to go through that again.  
  
Narrator Quill: What surprises are headed for out heros from   
Holstein? Will the plane reach Nevada? Will James take Pikachu and   
Meowth out of his pockets? How many licks does it take to get to the   
center of a Tootsie Pop? Find out in Part 10, Viva Las Vegas 3!  
  
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Part 10  
VIVA LAS VEGAS 3  
Quill Xarxes  
  
As the plane lands, Misty finally opens her eyes.  
  
James: Misty, can you even see anymore?  
  
Misty: Shut your mouth.  
  
Brock: Well, let's go to our hotel then.  
  
Ash: Right!  
  
Misty: I hope this isn't anything like Hollywood was.  
  
Meowth: Dat's Right!  
  
Jessie: That was so sad!  
  
Butch: Anyway, what's our hotel called?  
  
James: I have no clue. The last four times I've been here, I've had the same hotel, but I cn never read the sign.  
  
Gary: Too drunk?  
  
James: Heck no! The lettering is in cursive neon writing. Have you ever tried to read cursive neon writing???  
  
Gary: Good point. Hey, did you ever wake up here in, like, an alley or something?  
  
James: NO! Everywhere else, not here!  
  
Jessie: Even in New Holstein?  
  
James: Even in New Holstein.  
  
Everyone: (Gets that everlasting image of James all stoned and in some alley in New Holstein.)  
  
Misty: WAIT! That's not what I was thinking!  
  
Brock: YEAH! Quill's just making this stuff up!  
  
Quill: Oh Palease. Not this again.  
  
James: Yeah, I don't want to go through that again.  
  
Jessie: (mumbles) That's not the only thing he wont go through...  
  
*Pause*  
  
Gary: Believe me I don't want to know.  
  
James: (indignantly) Damn straight you don't want to know!  
  
Jessie: I was there and I don't wanna know!  
  
Gary: Does this involve, maybe, a bad sexual episode?  
  
James: No! And ya know, I could kill you in two seconds!  
  
Gary: (To Brock) I don't think he could get that far.  
  
Jessie: Why you little!  
  
James: He's not worth it. Just calm down.  
  
Ash: I'm so tired I'm gonna drop into bed like a chopped down tree.  
  
James: OK, with the money you cheapskates chipped in, we can only afford four rooms.  
That and I paid for two of them myself! How does that make you boneheads feel!  
  
All: Well, do we really care?  
  
James: (sigh) Anyway, we gotta partner up. Who's going together?  
  
All: (silence)  
  
James: You people are so childish! Anyway, I'll put all your names in a hat here (puts little peices of paper in a hat) I'll pick a name, and they'll pick who they are with.  
(Pulls a name out) It's you Butch.  
  
Butch: (Pulls a name out) Hey, Cassidy, it's you!  
  
All: Whooawhoo!  
  
James: Uh, 3 points for the Neoshippers... Next to pick is, Jessie.  
  
Jessie: OK, am I lucky, am I lucky, am I... Hey, it's you James!  
  
Butch: 3 points for the Rocketshippers!  
  
James: Shut up.  
  
Narrator: Everyone seemingly falls asleep with no problem. But who knows what falls ahead for our heros? Why, Jessie and James may even  
  
Misty: WAIT!  
  
Narrator: What?  
  
Misty: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?  
  
Everyone: SHUT UP!  
  
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Part 11  
VIVA LAS VEGAS 4  
  
James: (Yawns) Goodnight Jessie.  
  
Jessie: How stupid are you?  
  
James: What? What do you mean?  
  
Jessie: I looked in the bowl before I picked a name.  
  
James: Uh, OK…  
  
Jessie: Do you know why?  
  
James: Yes, but I don't want to.  
  
*Outside*  
  
Quill: Come on Ash Rocket! Our room is right there!  
  
Nana: Room 13 (Dramatic music plays) That can't be a good sign!  
  
Ash Rocket: Oh shut up. It's just a number. Now if it were number 4 I'd be worried…  
  
Brock and Gary: (Come out of their room to eavesdrop on Jessie and James)  
  
Quill, Brock, and Gary: (in unison) YOU!  
  
Nana: Do you know these people?  
  
Gary: Ga! Hi Boss! How pleasant to see you! When I'm… on vacation…  
  
Ash Rocket: Nice greeting, Gary.  
  
Quill: Where's the rest of the squad?  
  
Brock: In their rooms. (Opens the door to Room 12 and Jessie and James fall out. James' face is covered in lipstick prints)  
  
James: Eeee! (Straightens his hair and rebuttons his shirt) Hi Boss, hi Ash Rocket, hi… other person.  
  
Nana: Other person?!  
  
Jessie: Uh oh. (Grabs out her poke'dex)  
  
Poke'dex: Nana, a Grandmother Poke'mon. Said to be very sweet and loving at most times.  
  
Jessie and James: Phew.  
  
Poke'dex: But at other times uses her most powerful attack.  
  
James: Ahhh! What could that be?!  
  
Poke'dex: RAGE!  
  
Jessie and James: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Quill: Whatever. This is Nana, Quill's grandma.  
  
James: Hi Xarxes-san.  
  
Nana: We don't have the same last name…  
  
Jessie: I see… Well we won't keep you, we were just, um,  
  
James: Testing out lipstick shades! (Takes some of Jessie's lipstick off his cheek with his finger) Oooh, this ones pretty!  
  
Gary: What's the other thing you won't go through?  
  
James: (Grabs a fan out of nowhere and hits Gary on the head)  
  
Gary: Ouch.  
  
Quill: (Gives James a V for Victory sign and goes into her room.)  
  
James: (Returns Victory sign and goes to finish what was started)  
  
Brock: Hey, Ash Rocket, wanna  
  
Ash Rocket: NO!  
  



End file.
